davegao@ix.netcom.com (Dave Gao) Kyaa! Megami-sama! ------------------------------ moonlight & mallet blossom------------------- - - - - - - City Hunter & Ah! Megami-Sama cross - - - - - - part 1-1 ------------------------------------ - Copyright belongs to Mr. Fujishima & Mr. Hojo... Foreword- Well, long time no see... This is an experimental crossover of AMG and CH, hopefully you'll like it (imagine Belldandy actually BEGS kami-sama to let her go back to heaven...)(Actually on the second thought I won't do that... I think I'll make Kaori MIGHTY jealous while Bellchan sticks to her promise and does just about everything Ryo asks) I have no idea how long this series will last or in what direction it will go... however, I've got a feeling it's not going to be too short and that it'll be pretty interesting. Oh well, let's return to the story for now... (By the way my Microsoft Office is finally fixed!!!) (........................) (oh well) :0 :) :0 :) :0 :) :0 :) :0 :) :0 :) :0 :) :0 :) :0 :) Coming Damned Soon... Kyaa! Megami-sama! Part 1.2 Ko Ryu 18 Steps Part IV & V Kyosuke's wurst nitemare Part I & II (already in revision) Kon'ya wa Hunter Part 1.1 + 1.2 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Prologue-- Only those with the purest hearts would have the privilege to be granted a wish by a goddess. However, goddesses are not impeccable either. Often, a few things would happen to their computer system, and the next thing they know... Scenario... Ryo: (hair being blown back by gale wind as he stands with all 'glory' and he laughs and sounds VERY evil while his right index finger points at something downward between his legs) hehehehahahaha....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Belldandy: (running amuck with her goddess-dress torn loose and her creamy right shoulder bared as she starts to weep) KYAAAAAAA! Kami-sama! Dasukete!!!* *help me! Kaori: (materializes from thin air) KONO YAROOOOOO!!! (grabs a 1x10^13 ton mallet) (...takes aim) (...swing!!!) Which is quite similar to what's going to happen in this story... Chapter 1-- Ryo looked around. The sink was starting to give off a repulsive, horrid smell again. Dammit! Where's Kaori? It's been almost two weeks and still no one wanted to do the dishes. "I'm so hungry that I have to even start using my mokkori-reserved powers to keep me conscious now," he said out loud while sighing dolefully. It's been one whole month and there's no customer whatsoever...well... actually there were quite a few, but Ryo wanted none of their business. "Stupid Kaori always bring me fag cases and nothing else..." He would have to start hunting and secretly doing business on his own again soon, Ryo thought. On top of that, both of them had to succumb to Instant Ramen again simply because of the low income. "Ah... the mokkori-chans... one mokkori leg, two mokkori legs, three mokkori legs, four mokkori butts... oops... four mokkori legs...five mokk..." He lay down on the couch and drifted into sleep as he started counting the pretty babes in his dreams - in place of sheep, that is... However the front door opened when he counted about 13 of those sexy legs. "Oi!!! Ryo!" It was Kaori again. "WHAT! Why do you keep disturbing my sleep?" Ryo leapt up from the sofa and immediately jumped in front of Kaori, blocking her path. "Oh SOOOOORRY but you call this SLEEPING?" She brought a 10 ton mallet down HARD onto the tip of the giant bulge in Ryo's pants. "AAIIEEEE!!!" "So, as I was saying..." Kaori started talking again ten minutes later as Ryo slowly came to once more. "Order OUT?" Ryo stared at Kaori in disbelief. "Sure, why not? I mean, do YOU want to eat Instant Ramen all the time?" Ryo groaned at the thought. "All right," Ryo said. "I just never thought someone as stingy as you would ever order out..." His sentence was cut short by a telephone book thrown in the face. "So... what do you want?" Ryo managed to say with his face buried inside the telephone book. "Um..." Kaori started to think. "How'bout two deluxe Ramen..." Seeing Ryo's face was starting to turn into a sick purple color as she started mentioning Ramen again Kaori quickly changed her order. "I meant... um... two orders prime roasted ribs... from the restaurant down near the Shinjuku station..." "Fine with me." Ryo immediately dialed a number and started to listen with all his concentration he could muster up. In fact, he didn't even look interested. "Wait a second, since when did he start to know the number for the restaurant?" Kaori pondered. She looked at Ryo, who was starting to sweat for some reason. "Ma...masaka...?" She walked silently away and picked up another receiver from the kitchen and started to listen. "MMM... WE'LL FULFILL YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!!! OUR ONE-ON-ONE HOT-N-SPICY TALK WILL MAKE YOU'D HOPE YOU'D NEVER HAVE TO LEAVE THE PHONE!!!" Kaori couldn't take it anymore. She looked over and saw Ryo started to roll his eyes up and began to daydream. Nope, if this continued she wouldn't be able to use the phone for at least two hours and it'd be closing time when she order the food. Quickly she ran into her bedroom and grabbed a little box hidden under her bed. There was a small red button on the center of the box and she pushed it with all her might. A huge explosion was heard outside where Ryo had been. Ryo gasped for breath. "K...Kaori... since when did you start putting wireless chemical bombs into our telephone receivers?" Kaori looked at the man whose face was now as dark as coal without any regret or sympathy. "If you don't shut up and call not only your face will get blasted next time." Ryo mumbled something under his breath and felt his hair started to crumble into dust as he touched them and tried to straighten them out. "Crap... this is gonna take a while..." He dialed again. "HELLO? THIS IS THE LEADING EDGE KTV AND NEW HOMOSEXUALITY-EXCLUSIVE STRIP BAR LOCATED AT 12800 HOKU..." Ryo hastily hang up. He turned around, sneaking a little glance at Kaori whom he found out was also staring right at him. "Ehehe... um... wrong number... guess I have to call again, don't I..." Kaori just gave him a cold look and said nothing as she folded her arms together in front of her chest. "Okay okay I got it..." Ryo looked at the phone book once more and dialed. Chapter 2-- "Hello!" Ryo's eyes grew WIDE with surprise as he heard the most melodious voice on earth. "This is the Relief Goddess Office, we'll be right with you in a moment." "What the..." Ryo gripped his receiver tightly in his hands. "I would like to order..." "Don't worry, I'm coming through _right now_..." The beautiful voice said. Ryo blinked. What the hell could that possibly mean? He looked around. Suddenly, Kaori saw the light went out and the mirror over at the telephone began to radiate a dazzling light. "What the...?" An image flashed. Ryo had thought something moved inside the mirror, but quickly corrected himself at the impossibility of the suggestion. However, he figured out that his eyes did not betray him and make any illusions as the figure slowly emerged from inside the mirror into the living room. Ryo's jaws dropped to the floor with all his previous injuries instantly healed as Kaori stared in utter shock. There she was, the girl who just came out from the mirror, the girl who claimed to be talking to Ryo only a couple of seconds ago... the most gorgeous babe you can wish for! Blond hair, oval-shaped face which was flawless and smooth as alabaster, sensuous red lips, cute nose, large innocent eyes, delicate fingers, sexy long and slender legs, ample...(you got the idea). However, the triangular markings on her forehead and a bit off the corners of her eyes was the most interesting feature. Ryo wondered if this girl is some runaway princess and started to think about asking her to hire him as a bodyguard. "No, I am not a princess from some third-world countries." The words she spoke suddenly startled Ryo. It seemed like... she could read his thought! "Yep! So anyway, what is your wish?" The girl piled up the most mellow smile that Ryo had ever seen in his life. "Eh? Eh?" She smiled ravishingly at him. "Wait... what is going on here?" By this time Kaori had managed to shake off her shock and started to fume as Ryo's gaze was scanning every inch of the new girl's body. "Oh, oops. I forgot to introduce myself. I am the goddess Belldandy, and I'm here to fulfill a wish." She opened her left palm and a small card materialized into her hand. "Here's my card." Ryo's eyes were still as large as dessert dishes. "Wha..." Kaori stammered out. "Goddess...?" "Hai. You can get a wish. One wish. Take your time." By this time Belldandy had noticed the unfriendly stares from the man and was both a bit worried and embarassed. Ryo thought he was the luckiest man on earth. "Hmmmmmm, now let's think... I have several options here..." Ryo appeared to be deep in his own world. "Yes." Belldandy interrupted. "If you want to be a millionaire, we can make you one. Also, if you want the world to be destroyed, we can arrange that too." She paused for a second before continuing, "Of course, we would never visit such people." Meanwhile Kaori's mind was running wild. Mill.. Millionaire!!! NO, She can grant us the wish even if we wish ourselves TRILLIONAIRES!!! Kaori was at once lost in her daydreams. "I don't see why you can't use a girlfriend though..." The goddess said after a thought. Ryo snapped out of his trance. "Girlfriend?" He asked in a mock inquisition tone. "See that person over there?" He pointed at Kaori. By that time Kaori had also ended her dream and started fuming over his comment once more. "Why? What's wrong with me you perv..." Before she had time to finish her sentence the goddess interrupted once more. "But... how? I don't see what the gentleman over there has to do with you not having a girlfriend..." Upon hearing this Kaori collapsed. "I'm helpless... even a goddess think I'm a guy..." Ryo tried his best to suppress his laughter in fear that it would result in a homocidal action from 'the gentleman over there'. "Well," he cleared his throat and diverted his attention to some more urgent matter, "I have made up my wish." Belldandy was more than happy to hear this. "Great!" She smiled cheerfully. "What would you like?" Kaori suddenly cleared her head as she heard the goddess was about to grant Ryo his wish. Instinctively she realized what the wish would be. "No..." she whispered as she struggled to stand up and stop the horrible fate awaiting for the poor goddess. "I WISH THAT A GODDESS AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU WOULD STAY WITH RYO-CHAN FOREVER TO ENGAGE IN ETERNAL SEXUAL RE..." His voice trailed off as Kaori, with the last of her reserved energy, sent a 100 ton hammer to his back and rammed his body against the wall at the other end of the living room. From her facial expressions Belldandy was evidently shocked by this display of brutal strength. "...LATIONSHIP..." He managed to say through the Ryo-shaped dent in the wall. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Kaori screamed, trying to defy the possibility of this wish coming true. Belldandy face turned _VERY_ red as she realized the wish that he wanted. All of a sudden the room darkened as a beam of blue light shot down from heaven tore a hole through the ceiling directly shone onto Belldandy and reacted with the weird triangular marking on the forehead of the goddess as she was involuntarily drawn into the air when her marking connected with the light. "Unnn..." As the eerie light faded once more Belldandy fainted and started to fall down to the floor, but Ryo rushed in to catch her in his arms (of course, no one knew how he got out from that large dented hole on the wall in the first place...). "Her body's so... light..." Ryo scanned the unconscious beauty from head to feet and his mokkori power immediately went into work again. However, after a moment of wild excitement his head shook and he sighed in disappointment. "I...guess such a wish is not valid..." "Unnn....." feeling Belldandy was beginning to stir again Ryo put her to her feet reluctantly - as much as he love to hold her forever, he had to make sure she's all right. As her feet connected the floor once more she opened her eyes. And her eyes widened in disbelief. "Oh.My.God..." Belldandy started to stagger a bit and retreated a couple of steps as she realized the horrendous truth. "Can I borrow your phone?" she asked frantically. "Yeah, sure..." Ryo was suddenly surprised to see the goddess at such a loss. Kaori went ballistic. "NOW WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, RYO???" Ryo hastily replied that it was all a joke. "Calm down for a second, I was only kidding!!!" Unfortunately Kaori's anger simply tenfolded. "LIAR!!!" The lovely conversation between the two were broken when the goddess gasped deeply as she heard the reply of the person over the phone. "REALLY! GOD-SAMA! IT'S _VALID_?" The three in the room shared the same astonished room. "WELL," God-sama explained, "I WAS TRYING TO PUSH THE 'NOT VALID' DECISIONNE BUT I PUSHED THE WRONG BUTTON INSTEAD." "WHAT?!" "THE PROBLEM IS THAT DUE TO THE OVERLOAD OF THE YGGDRASILL SYSTEM ALL THE CIRCUITS WERE COMPLETELY BROKEN..." Kami-sama resumed after a slight pause, "SO THE DECISION IS IRREVOCABLE...AT LEAST FOR A WEEEEEK."God-sama's definitely drunk again. "A...A WEEK..." Belldandy's eyes grew wide. In despair she dropped the receiver on the floor and started to sob. "Why...what's wrong?" Kaori and Ryo both asked simultaneously. Belldandy raised her head and wiped some tears away. "Kami-sama told me that the wish is valid and irrevocable at least for a week." Kaori was scared shitless when she heard the 'irrevocable' part but finally relaxed after she found out th goddess only had to stay for one week. *Good, I can protect her for one week with relative ease, I think.* Ryo was truly disappointed. "But... One week only?" Belldandy started. "one week in heaven calendar." Kaori and Ryo walked closer to the goddess for both of them wondered what she was talking about. And they got their answer. "which means..." Belldandy counted for a second or so and then replied matter-of-factly. "a century on earth." "NANIIIIIII??!" Kaori's horror-filled shriek resounded in the room. Ryo leapt up seven feet into the air in happiness. Chapter 3-- "Yatta! Yatta!" Ryo instantly adhered himself to his new Goddess-girlfriend. "Bell-chan we're going to have fun!!!" Ryo had started to drool all over the floor. "Oh well." Belldandy hung up the phone. "I have already ended my responsibility as the antenna of god, so now I can be with you forever. However, since kami-sama had only heard part of the second condition.. *blushes a little* thus that part does not hold to be valid." "WHAT? YOU MEAN YOUR DAD DOESN'T WANT US TO HAVE SE..." Kaori released her grip on the super metal-alloy made mallet as it embedded Ryo deeply into the floor. "You bastard! Can you think of anything else besides chasing girls?" Disgusted, she took a quick glance at Ryo (who was seeing stars around his head) and grunted, "obviously not..." Belldandy jumped a little when Ryo was hammered into the ground like a nail. *Geez... this gentleman must be a bit overreacting...* Kaori turned to Belldandy as he... as she realized that the goddess must be quite astonished. "Don't worry about him, he's always like this." She scratched her head as she wondered what to say next. "Well... apparently Ryo was kidding when he made the wish so don't you have a way to go back or something?" "No." Belldandy stated blandly. *Strange...she didn't seem to care that she couldn't go home* Kaori thought. "Hmmm..." Kaori couldn't afford the hentai to molest a goddess, so she quickly thought up a solution. Or at least what _she_ thought was a solution. "How about this then, we have a guest room that is unused temporaily so you may stay until you have thought of a way to remedy this situation. But please, be careful of yourself, especially don't let him get anywhere within 10 feet of you." She threw another glance down at the unconscious figure. *Good, he hasn't waken up yet.* "Um... why?" Belldandy was curious. "Well... I'll let you decide for yourself." "Thank you, sir..." Kaori face-faulted again and collapsed to the floor. "what's the matter? Is there anything I can help?" "No...nothing." "Great! I guess it's time I make some dinner, right?"Belldandy smiled again. "Um...Kitchen...Kitchen... Ah! Over there!" With this, she walked happily in the direction of the kitchen and hummed as she prepared to cook the dinner." "She...She really is a goddess..." Kaori muttered to herself as she saw Belldandy walked into the kitchen. "This is the greatest dinner I have ever had!!!" Ryo yelled merrily half an hour later as he finished his dinner. "Bell-chan is great in everything!!!" Belldandy flushed a little as she heard his compliment. Kaori just stared. True, this was the best dinner she has had but the way Ryo gloms over Belldandy was pissing her off BIG TIME. "Let's just see how far he'll stretch my patience..." Kaori thought furiously as she crammed all the rice in the bowl into her mouth. And choked. (A smothered voice): he...helpp meeeee... Belldandy and Ryo (concerned): Kaori are you all right? Kaori? KAORI!!! (scene fades) -------------------------------------------------------------------- how'd you like it? send your thoughts and comments to davegao@ix.netcom.com!!! Suggestions and flames welcome! (well...criticisms will do fine for the flame part...) Stay tuned for Part 1.2 of Kyaa! Megami-sama! Kyaa! Megami-sama! ------------------------------ moonlight & mallet blossom------------------- - - - - - - City Hunter & Ah! Megami-Sama cross - - - - - - part 1-2 ------------------------------------ - Copyright belongs to Mr. Fujishima & Mr. Hojo... Note: Sorry it came out so late again, Ive got too much studying going on... Disclaimer... ------------------ blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah (see part 1.1) Coming Soon... ------------------- Ko Ryu 18 Steps Part 5 (Ranma) Kyosukes wurst nitemare (KOR & Nightmare on elm street) Kyaa! Megami-sama 1.3 (AMG & City Hunter) Konya wa Hunter 1.2 (BGC & City Hunter) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) I--------- Ever since Belldandy walked into the shower Ryo had been very unstable and was squirming all over the place. He twitched awkwardly as he sank furthur into the couch and one of the cushions was already covered in drool. Kaori would find out. Kaori would not find out. Kaori would find out. Kaori would not find out... He silently tried to decide inside his head what would happen. For a moment, both possibilities seemed to share equal weight on his scale. Hell! What would it matter? A little peep at a goddess body is worth DYING!!! And the scale in his mind exploded and was gradually replaced by the image of the goddess taking a bath. Hehehehe... I can start our eternal relationship by a joined bath... He sat up. And immediately recognized a problem. He had forgotten that he was bounded onto the sofa by Kaori earlier in the evening to prevent any chance of him beholding the lovely goddess in bath tonight. *Damn that Kaori... if somehow I can get this loose...* Nope. He was going to pass the night by himself on the couch tonight, all right. And remembering the sulky expression that Kaori made after she came to from that little choking experience Ryo thought Kaori would trap him forever onto this couch if she could. *Shit!* Ryo tried his strength once more against the tight ropes. Didnt work. They were enhanced so much they felt like steel bars. *Dammit! I dont want to spend the night here!* He thought grimly. Alas, he realized that he couldnt get rid of these ropes, so Ryo was forced to use his last card. *Im gonna see it no matter what...* He thought and drooled some more as he concentrated. II-------- (Insert your favorite Belldandy shower scene here...) Belldandy was quite happy... as always. The last wish from the customer wasnt really what she had thought, but then again the goddesses had the obligation to see to the fulfillment of the wish of every customer. For one thing, Ryos wish seemed completely harmless, and since he had no girlfriend Belldandy decided that she should comfort him for as long as he needed her to. One thing, however, intrigued her. While Belldandy was still in the status of the acting antenna of Kami-sama, she felt the strong, unwavering will and the gentle warmth from this man... but somehow his friend... Kaori-kun (is that the name? She hoped she wasnt mistaken), didnt seem to understand... Belldandy still felt a bit uneasy after that sheer display of strength Ryos friend had managed to demonstrate when she arrived. Belldandy sighed in happiness and relief. Aah... *I wonder how long its going to be until I get to go back to heaven again...* Well... she kinda knew what the answer was already. After the bath Im really going to sleep for a while (that means no less than 24 hour, by the way...), she thought as she continued to bathe her exquisite body and feel the water sprinkled and massaged her. As Belldandy was drowned in her own little world of innocent happiness, so was Ryo drowned in his pool of saliva. ImgonnaseeitImgonnaseeitImgonnaseeit...... Ryo thought as he slowly made his way to the top of yet another set of stairs. III--------- Kaori had taken extra care not to let the hentai escape, yet she felt uneasy as if she knew somethings going to happen soon. That was why she sat outside of the apartment under the fire escape staircases... so that if ever Ryo tried to get out and climb his way up to the bathroom window from down here... he would be in for a _NASTY_ surprise. Kaori sighed. Why do I always have to do this kind of job? I mean, isnt there other ways to stop him? She thought for a while and concluded No for her second answer. I am the most unfortunate woman in the entire world!!! She couldnt help but to yell all of a sudden. Outside, a crowd started to gather behind her but Kaori was too busy to notice. The cars in the street, as if to add the excitement, stopped as their drivers wondered what in the world was going on. *Dammit!!!* Kaori thought. *I cant understand why Ryo didnt notice that the sexiest woman in the world was right beside him the entire time for more than seven years! Just when Saeko went to Kyoto for a trip came the goddess of XXX... Why is heaven so unfair to me?* Then she was startled as a finger lightly tapped her right shoulder. Excuse me, a voice said from the back. What? Oh, what can I help you with? Kaori felt a bit annoyed at first for the stranger broke her thoughts but then immediately changed her attitude in courtesy as she turned back to face the person. Sorry to bother you, but we thought we heard a woman crying for help... The man who just spoke paused a bit. Do you have any idea where that sound came from, ...sir? Kaori thought the sky fell on her when she heard that last excruciating word. She swooned. Man 1: Hello? Man 2: You okay, sir? Man 3: Mister, do you need some help? Man 4: Hey pretty boy whats wrong? Man 5: What a weakling... Man 6: What happened? (loud) Someone help this gentleman! Man 7: Yo buddy, do you want to have some...fun together? I know youre gay... Yo! ...Hey! You all right? (etc. etc.) Ryo paused and looked out from the window on the side of the emergency stairs. Kaoris muffled cries could be heard through a huge circle of people. Hmmm... I wonder what happened to Kaori... Well, since this had happened X times before Ryo wasnt alarmed in the least. Well she wont be botherin me for a while... IV--------- Ryo was butt tired as he finally stumbled to the top of the building. Even to extraordinarily skilled mercenary, climbing stairs while having a giant piece of furniture on his back was not too easy a task. He was panting audibly now, both from the heavy workout and the excitement of being able to see the innocent nakedness of the beautiful goddess Belldandy. He climbed over the safety walls and headed downward with his head first. He knew very well Kaori had been stationing down there in the alley so he chose to climb to the top of the apartments and drop down to the bathroom window from seven floors above. Carefully balancing himself with his five limbs (yes it COULD technically be called an extra limb for certain purposes) he shifted slowly and grabbed hold of whatever he was able to in order to gain friction from sliding downward too fast. It was an especially hard thing to do, again, since he was also carrying an entire sofa on his back. However it seemed that God was at last on his side for when he reached his floor he found out that his bathroom window was completely OPEN. Realizing that it would be too easy for Belldandy to spot him if he simply put his head right through, he continued climbing downward until his glorious mokkori symbol was resting on the window stand inside the bathroom. He cleverly pulled out a knife with restricted movements and start chiseling through the cement wall for two small peepholes. I am the luckiest man in the wuuurrrrlllddddddd... Ryo couldnt help but think gleefully. Meanwhile Kaori finally regained her consciousness and was looking for Ryo. *Strange... I thought he would come down here and try to climb up the fire escape stairs to see...* Ma...masaka...??? Kaori looked upwards. Yup. All right. Ryo came DOWN the other way and was now hanging outside of the bathroom like a sick cockroach... with a sofa on his back. Kaori couldnt do a thing. The sofa would absorb most of the damage if she tried to throw anything at him and a 10^3 ton hammer would nail him right into the bathroom... and THAT would cause unthinkable results considering right now _Belldandy_ was taking a bath... (She certainly didnt want to offend a goddess... from what Hideyuki had told her when she was little, the goddesses would turn the offenders into bull-frogs or something a lot worse than that if they were offended) After a bit of reasoning Kaori imagined some part of Ryos body must have been inside the open window (she had seen that Belldandy had opened it just as she went into shower to let the air through better) so that he could support all the weight, and without much thinking she reached for a remote control inside her pockets and pushed a tiny black button. The bathroom window immediately SLAMMED shut. GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! V----------- Belldandy, upon hearing the inhuman shriek, immediately broke off her trance and looked around. Hmm... what was_that_? She wrapped herself neatly in a towel and walked out of the shower. Meanwhile Ryo, in his half-conscious state, was having trouble escaping. *Ouch! Screw(ooooh!) you, Kaori!!! Now how(waaahh!) can I (EEEE!)escape?* There was no doubt to Ryo that Kaori had done this. Alas, the possibilities were limited. In fact, there were only two that he could come up with. The first is to painfully PULL himself outta this pathetic situation. The second is simply go without his... *Ryo didnt even wanna think about it* Thus with the thought in mind, Ryo began to concentrate. *A little more... a little (AAAH!) more (pant)... AAAARGH!* The window shattered as Belldandy turned her head towards it. Pieces of glass flew everywhere and Belldandy had to duck behind the curtains to protect herself. Kyaa! She let out a tiny scream as a piece of glass grazed across her wrist. What...what happened? VI---------- Kaori heard the noise and turned her head just in time to see Ryo eating dirt while he landed on the ground flat on the face. *Serve you right, pervert!* She thought. Shit... HOW CAN KAORI DID THAT? Ryo pondered as pain once more registered into his mind when he tried to push himself out of the ground. Kaori was relatively happy. Seeing the result she relaxed a bit and started to walk to the front door of the apartments. *Good... we wont have TOO much trouble tonight...* And paused as she saw Belldandy hurriedly ran down the stairs and rushed to where Ryo had fallen. Belldandy gasped as she found Ryo embedded into the ground. Saeba-san! What happened to you? Belldandy asked innocently. She instantly casted a spell to lift him off the ground, released him from the fetters, and healed him all at the same time. Ryo looked at his unscathed self and was surprised. um... He tried to make up an excuse but couldnt think of one. Belldandy, in the mean time, shifted her gaze up and down to inspect any wounds on Ryos body. Finally, her eyes went to the HUGE bulge right between his legs. Oh no! She started and pointed her finger at the swelling thing. Ryo, perplexed, asked her what the matter was. Somehow I cant heal THAT! Saeba-san, we have to go to a hospital now! That swelling could be a... Ryo finally got the hint and tried to cover himself. Nonono, thats okay! Really! We dont have to go to a hospital! That thing will heal by itself! Belldandy insisted. No we have to go... She dragged Ryo across alley and was about to go to the nearest hospital when Ryo suddenly called her name in a feeble voice. Belldandy turned back to see Ryo ten shades paler. VII--------- Please... Ryo pleaded. That injury which you see... he pointed at the bulge and said (pretending at the same time to have a hard time breathing) It was uncurable. Ive known it for several years and now I think its the time I... Belldandy gasped. No! Saeba-san, you cant die like this! She was chanting all over, trying her best to reduce that swelling to nothing.. Theres only one way to stop the swelling and my imminent death, Belldandy. Ryo was sounding more and more pitiful. Tell me! But its too embarrassing... No! I will do anything to... Really? Ryo tried to hide an evil smile when he heard this. Of course! A goddess should... Then I will tell you. Ryo interrupted. Inhaling deeply, he expelled the words all in one breath. You have to kiss that swelling until it is gone. Pause. Another pause. An even longer pause. Ryo was wondering if his plan had worked (after all since she insisted on helping so much Ryo couldnt resist the temptation to take a _little_ advantage) when he saw Belldandy knelt down and said tenderly, I should have known. It was _that_ easy to heal and I didnt even know! And Belldandy closed her eyes. (Ryo closed his eyes too in joy) And Belldandy lowered her head more. (Ryo did the same) And Belldandys lips were about to touch the mokkori thing. And Belldandy got shoved aside before she could kiss him. And Ryo opened his eyes after waiting 30 seconds and feeling nothing. And saw Kaoris _VERY ANGRY_ face. K.I.S.S. M.Y. A.S.S. YOU BASTARD!!! And saw she brought a 10^100 metal allloy hammer down to where Belldandy was supposed to be kissing a minute ago. And that was the last thing he could see for a while. VIII-------- Anyway... Kaori had, during Ryos little nap, done a long series of lecture about Saeba Ryo the City Hunter, the superb marksman, and, most importantly, the hellish hentai -- all to make sure Belldandy would watch out for herself. Belldandy tried to absorb all this, but inside her cute little mind she simply refused to believe that this pure-hearted man whom she had seen through when she still was the antenna of Kami-sama was the brainless sex-boy, the child-molestor, the exhibitioner, the masochist, and the epitome of all modern horny hentais on the face of the earth that Kaori had been telling her about. Belldandy turned her head. I shouldnt have hesitated. she thought sadly as she saw that the bulge on Ryos pants was still there, in fact bigger than ever after Kaori had applied to it her so-called pressure treatment. Kami-sama! I dont want this man to die! She prayed silently. And as she prayed with all her heart, Belldandy suddenly remembered an ancient chant that guaranteed to reduce all swelling into nothingness. _FOREVER_. Ive got it!!! Bell-chan jumped up in excitement as she recalled the words of the chant. Kaori turned her head from the illustrious bulletin board that had tons of pictures capturing Ryo pestering around girls. What? She asked curiously. The chant to make Saeba-sans injury go away! Belldandy smiled as her heart was filled with hope. *Am I hearing this right?* Kaori thought as her heart almost missed a beat. *If shes doing what Im thinking then Ryo would be in BIG trouble this time...* and added a grin seconds later, *so much the better...* Evil spirits, depart... Belldandy closed her eyes and started the powerful chant. And miraculously, the swell started to abate. And finally it was no more. Belldandy?! Kaori asked timidly. Hmmm? Is... that chant permanent? It is. And Kaori immediately shut her mouth up. IX----------- Ryo stirred. Aah... Ouch... my head... Ryo was indeed having a pretty bad headache. He sat up painfully, only to find the two women staring at him curiously. Is.. is there anything wrong? He wasnt sure why the two were staring at him like he was dead or something. Saeba-san, are... Belldandy was interrupted once again. Yup. Kaori said matter-of-factly. Look at this, Ryo. Kaori held some book open for Ryo to enjoy. Oh wha... woah BABY! His eyes almost jumped out of their sockets when the image of a nude Barbara Moore and Pamela Anderson respectively registered into his brains. So much better than Kaoris figure... *SLAM* Well... Kaori looked at Ryo after a while. Dont you feel anything different? Ryo shook his head. Look _down_ Kaori hinted. eh...??? Ryo found out what was wrong at once. ...eh??? KYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Belldandy: (shaking Ryo) Saeba-san! Saeba-san!!! Kaori: (shrugs) ................... Kaoris narration: Well, this _must_ have been a shock to Ryo... Its not often that his mokkori power got cured, after all... I just hope that he gets the lesson, though. (Scene fades) (But we can still hear a faint voice) Belldandy: (_very_ anxious) Saeba-san!!!!! Belldandy: (after inhaling deeply) SAEBA-SAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [END PART 1.2] ---------------------comments and all _welcomed_. In fact ---------------------NEEDED is a better word... davegao@ix.netcom.com (ukulele ) Kyaa! Megami-sama! ------------------------------- moonlight & mallet blossom------------------- - - - - - - City Hunter & Ah! Megami-Sama cross - - - - - - part 1-3 ------------------------------------ - Copyright belongs to Mr. Fujishima & Mr. Hojo... Note: Just got back from a convention and now I can really start writing some fanfic again... :) Disclaimer... ------------------ (see part 1.1) Note again : This chapter just tie up some loose ends... for real real real excitement, stay tuned for Kyaa! Megami Sama! 2.1 A Mid-Summer's Night Attack!!! featuring the lovely and innocent goddess Belldandy the lovely but not-quite-so-innocent goddess Urd the seemingly-genderless hentai-basher expert Kaori & themore-than-very-happy-since-I-get-to-go-with-two-goddesses-instead- of-one-Ryo Coming Soon... ------------------- Ko Ryu 18 Steps Part 5 (Ranma) Kyaa! Megami-sama 2.1 (AMG & City Hunter) Kon'ya wa Hunter 1.2 (BGC & City Hunter) Psychedelix vol 1.3 (BGC) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) I------------ Kasumi Asoh, a 22 year-old college-senior working part time as a waitress at Cat's Eyes Cafe, seemed to in a rather serious mood today. Looking nervously around, she swallowed hard a couple of times. It seemed like there was some big secret in her mind that she needed to tell. But COULDN'T. *Ryo...* The name echoed inside her mind and slowly expanded, filling her head completely. People would be surprised if they knew she was somehow connected to the No. 1 mercenary in the entire Tokyo underground world. That should be quite natural, though, since just how many people really knew that under the sweet and attractive covers of this college girl lay the troublesome person who was identified as #305, the most famous - infamous that is - thief that had earned the top place on the ten most wanted list in the entire Japan? Well this time she was in BIG trouble. Her grandmother was lately found to have some brain tumor and she would like to see, in case she could not live as long as she hoped, her granddaughter have a child. With the man she loved. That meant Ryo. It had been a family tradition that the best female thief in the Asoh clan shoulld marry the best male thief in the clan. In an attempt to save an undesired marriage and under the request of Kasumi, Ryo had interfered the engagement and challenged the leader of the male thief to a contest for Kasumi's hand. And won. Although Ryo did not require Kasumi to marry him at the end, the girl's heart had already been stolen away by this outsider and dived head-in in love with him. Now everything's as usual... just that she needed to get married. To Ryo. *Ah... Why am I having such a headache lately?* Kasumi slapped a hand over her face and sighed deeply for the nth time today. II----------- Ryo groggily stumbled into Cat's Eyes Cafe. For the last three days his mokkori power had been literally 'annulled by higher and extraterrestrial beings.' He was not overly excited of course, since his blood which would normally rush to the 'thinggy' whenever he 'charged' now rushed back and exited out of every other orifice in his body when he saw 'interesting things'. If people didn't know better they'd certainly think he's got Ebola or something. "Hi Ryo! What brought you here today?" Miki's cheerful, melodious voice chimed along with his entering the bar as usual. But noticing that he wasn't in a good mood today, Miki immediately became more serious. "Saeba-san! Are you okay?" "...................." Ryo thought after a while. "Yeah." Well you certainly don't look like it, Miki thought. "Ah," she suddenly changed the topic, "Kasumi wanted to talk to you. I'll call her upstairs." With that she ran off. "Kasumi?" Ryo wondered to himself, temporaily forgetting his handicap. *You kiddin' me? All she does is get me into trouble when she goes off happily stealing away the prime minister's underwear!* Ryo's head dropped. "...and now I can't even ask her to pay me back..." he eyed the lower part of his body suspiciously. Is there no hope at all? Bell-chan is working her butt off to get me a cure after she realized what she had done... but... but... But it's not probably gonna work. III---------- Belldandy was in a hurry running back and forth between the kitchen and her room. She had turned the kitchen into a lab and often you would see ominous smokes coming out of that part of the apartment. "Oh no! Did it again!" Somehow the earth-made equipments seemed not to be able to carry on the heavy demands of a goddess and bursted into little pieces in a brilliant fashion for the pth time today. After she cleaned the mess up once more Belldandy stopped. Quickly she ran through her options. She knew one sure way to bring the entire thing around... she could give herself to him, and since the laws of the heaven stated that if, with the consent of both parties, a goddess is to engage in an intimate relationship with a human then it must be done even if it would defy the natural and biological sense and/or law... (basically if they wanted to have sex the man will be able to do his job for that period of time even if he normally is an impotent) but did she really want to do that? She left the question in the open and reconsidered other options. Although she could not cancel the spell she could change its nature... like reverse it... but that would make him permanently er...ere...erec...vigorous... and she definitely knew it would not be a good idea. Belldandy's mind quickly drifted back to when she first saw 'mokkori-chan'... goodness, that thing was HUGE! It was so big she never made the connection that it could be an erec...err...e... inflated organ! Although she never saw anything in real practice, she had known the anatomy of a human perfectly from the lessons back in heaven. And it was so embarassing when she found out that she had not 'made him feel better' by reducing that swell to nothingness, but instead made him uh... well, she didn't want to think about it anymore. *What should I do? Oh...* Belldandy was on the verge of tears again. IV------------ This was incredulous. >From the moment Ryo had Kasumi in his sight she pratically glommed herself to him, despite the murmurs and stares of all the other customers in the store. Umibozo simply blushed, dropped the plate he was holding and about to wash, shattered it, pretended that nothing happened, and turned away. Miki was also flushing and hid herself behind the counter to see what would happen. Boyohboy did Kasumi know how to flirt. "mmmm....." Kasumi draped her arms about Ryo's shoulders and gently, slowly brushed her sensuous lips all over his cheeks. Disregard his critical conditions Ryo was very happy. "Uh... Kasumi? Maybe... ah... we... like... someplace else???" Although Kasumi seemed not to notice the presence of other people in the cafe, Ryo did. "uh-huh" she murmured huskily, her warm breath breezed across his neck. "Uh... I really think we should go..." Ryo had an uneasy feeling since every time luck came his way - trust me, that didn't happen too often either - Kaori would show up and mess the entire thing up. "RYO YOU BASTARD WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP FLIRTING WOMEN?!!!" As if on cue, Kaori banged the door open and started to raise a very mean-looking hammer as she leapt toward the duo. However, Kasumi didn't leave him to his fate this time. She threw Ryo over Kaori's range, dashed under the mallet, jumped into the air, caught a very dizzy Ryo in the air, landed, and bolted outside. Kaori stopped and turned. That girl looked pretty familiar...... KASUMI??? Stunned beyond belief, she went to ask Miki and Umibozo if they have any idea what they were up to. "Nope" was their very terse reply as they shook their heads innocently. Kaori frowned. "If I see Ryo doing something funny to Kasumi, he's gone for GOOD!!!" and angrily exited the cafe, leaving a very frightened crowd, including Miki and Umi. As Kaori left the normal conversation between the customers in the cafe resumed. Miki and Umibozo stared at each other wide-eyed, shook their heads despairingly, and continued to work. None of their business, ne? V----------- Belldandy had tried so hard. But failed so badly. She had cried and cried and now she didn't think she was capable of seeing Saeba-san again since she had goofed up so badly. She needed sometime to think. And thus she packed away her stuff, wrote a letter that would hopefully explain some things, put the letter on the table in the living room, and left. *Kami-sama said that even the strongest spell was able to be cancelled by this herb! but how come...* Belldandy sighed once more and held back her tears. Things were not looking too bright. She didn't want to use her powers right now in case she accidently found a way to cure Saeba-san, so she made a reservation at one of those hotels which Saeba-san had promised to take her over for a tour - he insisted that it was a cultural thing - sometime within the next week or so. She took the cab and arrived at the hotel. The people at the service desk apologized that it would take a while since their computer was down, and after about five minutes they gave her the room key numbered 305, and she took the elevator upstairs. *Take a bath first. It would relax your body.* Belldandy said to herself. Just when Belldandy left the lobby for her room another pair came in through the entrance. Kasumi Asoh - dragging Ryo - went inside the hotel. Ryo couldn't believe his luck. He didn't think of just what he did to deserve his freebie, but only concentrated on how this could probably be the best night ever in his life. Suddenly, as if somebody's dropped a car onto his head, Ryo doubled over in pain. Kasumi was startled. "Ryo?!" Well it just looked like he couldn't have much fun tonight at all. He had forgotten one crucial point... he was doomed to be unable to... "I'm okay..." Ryo tried to smile weakly. It was apparently not very reassuring to Kasumi. "Come on. Let's get upstairs and have some fun. I have reserved a special room...SEE? here's the key." She flashed the key in front of Ryo. Carved into the key was the number 305. *Kasumi sure knew how to make me remember those days...* Ryo thought to himself, shaking his head in despair. It's been so long since they had worked together that Ryo almost forgot she was the infamous thief #305... though he sure remembered the flying buttocks part. He sighed once more. And then went upstairs with Kasumi as well. VI----------- "Come here, silly!" Kasumi locked the door and turned to Ryo. She had started to undress him when they got into the elevator - with 3 other people - and kept on undressing him when she dragged him along the hallway and into her room. By now Ryo was in his boxers and thrown onto the bed with a very dazed and mellow look. *Hopefully he'll take the bait and... then he can't refuse to marry me...* Suddenly Kasumi stopped. It seemed like there was a daggar embedded into her heart. She just realized that if things went her way then although Ryo might marry her his heart wouldn't truly belong to her. *Damn...* Kasumi knew all too well that Ryo had his heart for Kaori but still was too naive by thinking that if she... Ryo would... she couldn't think anymore. *What have I done?* Ryo saw Kasumi hesitating and saw her real, fragile, uncertain self. *She must've got things she couldn't tell me for some reason...hmmm...* Ryo's expression changed to that of a caring one and started to climb off the king-sized bed to comfort Kasumi when the bathroom door opened on its own. Ryo froze. That perfume smelled wonderful. And familiar. Very familiar. Damned familiar since it's been around him for about a week now. If he could just remember it from somewhere... Oh shit. *Not good,* Ryo thought as a freshly-bathed Belldandy walked out from the other side of the bathroom. In the bathroom... Belldandy thought she heard some noise. Instantly she turned off the shower and draped a towel about her lovely body. And opened the bathroom door. To see a not-so-decently-dressed Ryo being tossed into bed by a very gorgeous girl. Kasumi, on the other hand, was embarassed beyond human expressions. She just looked at Belldandy, then at Ryo, then at Belldandy again. And blushed and smiled. See, Kasumi came from a very traditional Japanese family, and she was taught to smile whenever she was embarassed. "The more embarassed you are, the bigger you smile." She recalled her mother reminding her. And right now her smile was so wide it seemed like the corners of her mouth were connected to the lower end of her ears... not counting that it also hurt like hell. Ryo looked at the smiling Kasumi and the shocked Belldandy and immediately reacted. "Belldandy! It's not what you think! Really!!! Kasumi and I aren't doing ANYTHING! We're just friends!...uh..." It was not really convincing and Ryo knew it, since the corners of Belldandy's innocent large eyes were beginning to get moist. Kasumi blinked. "Belldandy?" Belldandy's vision blurred as she tried unsuccessfully to swallow back her tears. She covered her face with her hands and turned away. *So it's true! It's true! Saeba-san is... How can he do that to me? He must not have really liked me... all he wanted was a body...* Inside Belldandy's mind a thousand things were going on. *The contract... is... brok...* Suddenly, the goddess's thought dropped dead in the middle. *The contract should obstruct anything that would come as a threat to the wish! But... why wasn't it doing that?* Out of curiosity, Belldandy slowly turned back and peeked at Ryo through the slits between her fingers. The light seemed to play a trick on her. Or maybe it's the tears in her eyes that had bent the angles of the light. Either way, she caught onto something she hadn't before. Sure enough, there was a furry little thing that looked like a cross between a spider and a rabbit clenching to Ryo at the area between his legs. *A female bug!!! Why haven't I thought of that before!* Belldandy almost leapt up in joy. Unlike its male counterparts, the female bugs in heaven were almost transparent and usually have a tendency to quite attach themselves to the human male species. At a particular part of his body. No wonder Belldandy's spells didn't work. *And of course no action was taken from the computer system up in Ygg, since Saeba-san wasn't doing anything with her yet that would register as threatening our contract! Oh I'm so happy!!!* Belldandy rushed into Ryo's arms instantly. Apparently none of the two were ready for such outward expression from Belldandy, and while Ryo was contently hugging Belldandy and thought he could die happy, Kasumi was more than nonplussed, and even more upset. Kasumi just stared. "Uuh... excuse me, but who the heck are you?" "Saeba-san! I know the cure now!!!" Belldandy cried excitingly, totally oblivious to Kasumi's questioning. "Hello?" Kasumi said, raising her voice a bit higher. "Oops, sorry." Belldandy turned to Kasumi. "My name is Belldandy, first-class unlimited goddess." "Godd...Goddess???" Kasumi wasn't sure if she heard it correctly. Was this girl the escaped patient from the Kyoto Asylum that she has been hearing on the news lately? "No, I'm not the girl who escaped from Kyoto asylum. She's already at Osaka now and will be caught later tonight." Kasumi stared, her eyes getting bigger every moment. *Did she... really read my thoughts?* "Yes, goddess can read thoughts perfectly." Belldandy replied matter-of-factly. "Anyway, Saeba-san called the Relief Goddess Office and in return I granted him a wish." Belldandy was all smiles now. "Lemme guess. He wanted you to stay with him forever and have sex 24 hours a day." Words came out between Kasumi's lips like instinct. It's kinda hard not to, since she knew Ryo so well... "How...how did you guess..." Belldandy lowered her head and flushed a little. Kasumi facefaulted. *He _really_ did that???* "Un. And Kami-sama punched the wrong button on the computer system and I started staying in Saeba-san's house." And basically Belldandy went over the events with Kasumi - whom Ryo had told her was a good friend of his - and Kasumi ended up giggling uncontrollably. "I should've known he'd get his day...no wonder Saeba-san looked lacklustered these days." Kasumi resumed giggling. "So, what's wrong this time, Kasumi? Why all these... stuffs?" Ryo asked with what little dignity he had preserved after all the entertainment. Kasumi's expression became that of a sad and sullen one. "It's my grandmother. She's about to die and she wanted me to marry you... so that she might see her great-grand children. You know I couldn't possibly resist granny and so..." "Thought so..." Ryo held his hand up to his chin and became contemplative. Suddenly Ryo's expression lit up. "Then let's get married!" They gazed at him in shock. "wuh...what?" Kasumi thought she didn't hear things correctly. Belldandy was still frozen in shock. "Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Don't you love me, Kasumi?" Ryo teased back. Kasumi's flush went past the critical point. She was fumbling with her fingers and looking very uncertain. Finally, with as much feint anger as she could muster, Kasumi slammed Ryo into a wall with a giant mallet that she pulled out of nowhere, and said shakily, "That's not what I mean!" Ryo immediately materialized behind the two and replied, "then what do you want me to do?" Before Kasumi had a chance to reply, however, Ryo continued. "Actually, there is probably a way to delay this 'marriage'... so long as you give me some uuh... freebies..." Kasumi blushed even harder. Belldandy, who had just broken her trance, was looking unsure. *Saeba-san must be kidding...* She tried to calm herself down but still felt rather unsure. *Belldandy, Saeba-san's kidding. He's just joking, and he knew what he was doing. Saeba-san's just kidding. He's only joking. Kasumi's his friend. He's...* Belldandy kept saying it to herself in her mind. Suddenly, as Ryo and Kasumi were drowned in their own little world of conversation, Belldandy recalled something. "Ah! Skuld should be here at any moment now!" VII----------- True enough, as soon as Belldandy finished the thought, a slurping noise could be heard from the bathroom. And out came a _very_ cute girl with impossibly long, black hair. With an evil-looking mallet that was painted green. Skuld thought that she was mistaken. A female bug? On earth? Was Oneesama serious? That meant trouble. She typed a memo on the computer and said that she would be back in a minute, then zapped into earth with her mallet. Once she arrived she located the exact location of the bug, and dashed into it with her special mallet designed to crush female bugs... her usual one could only barely handle the male ones... and SLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!!! "Kyaa!" Kasumi sensed the danger at the last minute and jumped away. "wuh...whh...wuh..." was all she could say. Ryo, unfortunately, only saw a blur of motion coming straight at him before he passed out. [END 1.3 -1] --------------------------------------------------- Staaaay tuned for 1.3-2 See Kaori unsuccessfully tries to seduce Ryo See Ryo tries to find a 'workable' solution for Kasumi See Belldandy attacking Kasumi's grandmother and, what's more... See Umibozo blush!!! pleeeease give me some feedbacks! I want to know if you like them! and how I can improve the story! pleeeeeeeease!!!