"Keiichi's Bloody Sunday"
  an Ah! My Goddess parody
  original creator Fujishima Kousuke
  written/hacked by dnab


[Skuld approaches sleeping Keiichi with a 10 dimensional megaphone.]

Skuld:  Goood morning!!

Keiichi:  Wuuuaah!!  Oh, Skuld, it's you.  You're up early.  Isn't today 
Sunday?

Skuld:  You don't remember what today is?  It's a very important day.

Keiichi:  Eh?  ..... let's see.  Bell's arrival anniversary isn't until next 
month, and we just celebrated Urd's.  Birthdays....mmm... Megumi's isn't 
until Christmas time..... Zzzzzz....

Skuld:  You're such a sweet person.

[Bending down to kiss Keiichi on the lips, then suddenly looks upward.]

Skuld:  Ah, ONe-sama!

[Belldandy standing in front of the doorway.  Her expression is that of a 
mixed concern, love, and a little apprehension.  She holds a breakfast 
tray.]

Belldandy:  Did you tell him?

Skuld:  Well, no... he fell back asleep.... aahh... that wasn't anything.... 
I... I'll be going to make the present for Keiichi-san.

[Skuld jumps into the tea cup.]

Belldandy:  Keiichi-san.  Why is there so few of you to go around?

[Keiichi tosses and turns... as if he's having a bad dream.  Belldandy claps 
her hands, and began to sing a prayer spell.]

<Insert your favorite magic mombo jombo here.>

[Belldandy, exhausted from the ritual, also dozes off.]

[Urd emerges from Keiichi's computer screen.  She looks around, checks to 
make sure Belldandy is asleep, the sneaks to Keiichi's bedside.  She holds a 
pill in her right hand, and with her left she pops Keiichi's jaws open.  As 
she is ready to put the pill in, Keiichi's eyes open.]

Urd:  Woops.

Keiichi:  I'm not eating anything from you.  I'm not doing anything you say.  
I'm not going anywhere with you.  And I'm not getting seduced by you.  Now 
go away!

Urd:  And is that the right attitude to talk to a goddess?!  Morisato 
Keiichi-kun, do you know what today is?

Keiichi:  I don't know what today is!  Why is everybody hiding something 
from me?!

Urd:  Actually ... [Urd looks around] ... today is the day Marller plans to 
strike.  Since you're the most vulnerable target, I figure we're better off 
protecting you.  Now, take this pill.  It'll help you resist bad fortunes.

Keiichi:  How come I don't believe you.

Urd:  Pleeeze.....

[Keiichi shakes his head.]

Urd:  NOW TAKE IT BEFORE I SHOVE IT DOWN!!

[They look back.  Belldandy is awake and is looking concerned.  Skuld is 
holding a grenade.]

Belldandy:  Big sister.  Please don't lie, especially today.

Keiichi:  WHAT'S GOING ON?!  Will somebody tell me something?!  ......  Oh 
God!  Is God coming today?!

Belldandy:  Well, no.... actually .........

[Voice from outside.]

Dorm gang:  MORISATO!!  WE'RE HERE TO CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTHDAY!!

[The goddesses look at Keiichi, who looks stunned.]

Keiichi:  Birthday?  May 26 is my birthday!  Is that all... hahaha  ha.....  
!!  TODAY IS MY TWENTIETH BIRTHDAY!!!!!  I'm a man today!!

Keiichi - Oh damn!  I was planning to take Belldandy out today.  Talk to her 
about our future, and maybe.... [gulp].  Now how do I get rid of these 
two.....?

[The school gang crashes into the room.]

Everyone:  Morisato!!  Would you invite us!

Keiichi:  Aaahhh!!

Belldandy:  [deep breath]..... E V E R Y O N E !!

[The room quiets down.  Everyone protecting their eardrums.]

Keiichi - oh thank you Belldandy.

Belldandy:  I'll go make some food for the party.

Gang:  Thank you very much!!

[Keiichi is being carried out of the room with his quilt.  His hand reaches 
out, mouth forming a silent "Help me!"]

[Mini-Marller looks down from the overhead light.]

Marller:  Heheheh... so they choose to ignore my ultimatum.

[Belldandy prepares her specialities in the kitchen, when suddenly she turns 
around.]

Belldandy:  Marller!  I can feel you.  Come out!

[Marller jumps down from the ceiling, grabs Belldandy by her bosoms.]

Marller:  Long time no see, Bellu-chan.

[Belldandy tries a spell to break free, but seems to have no effect.]

Belldandy - Why?

Marller:  You don't remember what today is?  It's a very special day.

[Still touching Belldandy at the ikenai places.]

Belldandy:  [Ah!..] Today's.... [hump] Keiichi-san's birthday [aaah... Ah!]

Marller:  Heh heh heh.  Has it been that long, or have you been too busy to 
look up lately?  A thousand and twenty three cycles completed, and tonight 
the Swing of Misfortune will reach it's apex.  Remember what happened sixty-
nine years ago?

Belldandy:  [Ah...] ... no.... can't be

Marller:  That's right, today is my birthday too.... and I'm unwrapping my 
present, NOW.

[Belldandy - Aaaaaaah.........  Scene white out.]

[Marller lying on the kitchen floor, undressed and smoking a long cigarette 
holder.  Belldandy is next to her, clinging to her dress and sobbing.]

Marller:  Aw shut up!  I'm sure it's as good for you as it's for me.

Belldandy:  ...[snif]...Keiichi-san....

[Marller get's up.  Her cloths magically refabricating around her body.]

Marller:  Well, sorry to do this after so much fun, but a demon's gotta do 
what a demon's gotta do.  Bell-chan, it's been nice knowing you.

[Marller chants a rather powerful spell.]

[Out from the boiling broth comes Skuld, holding her new creation that looks 
suspiciously like an oversize hair dryer.]

Skuld:  Stop, you..ouch..demon, you...wuuh...monster, you .... yeek.... 
fiend.  Or in the name of my...ouch, ouch, hot, ouch.... Handy-Dandy Demon 
Pacifier I'll .... ouch.... send you back to hell.

Belldandy:  Skuld, watch out!  She's too powerful now!

Marller:  Go ahead, shorty.  Perm my hair!

Skuld:  SWITCH ON!

[Skuld's toy blows a puff of hot air which, if anything, curls up an afro 
for Marller.]

Marller:  Hah!  Doesn't even sting.

Skuld:  You just wait!!

[First spoons, and then forks, chopsticks, pans, pots, and the rest of the 
kitchen utensils converges to Marller.]

Marller:  What the...!!

Skuld:  Ha!  My beautiful HD^2P is a Localized Satanity Regradient 
Transformer, one which converts negative aura into sign consistent space-
time gradient, causing objects to freefall geodesically.  And when the 
collapsing mass reaching critical ......

[Before the author runs out of imagination, Marller uses her spell to break 
free.]

[Bang!]

Marller - never thought I have to use that dangerous spell.

Marller:  That was a good shot, shorty.  Now it's my turn!!

[Urd slams the door open.  She has wine and kitchen utensils attached to her 
body.]

Urd:  I told you not to build anymore of these dangerous toys!!

Marller:  This is great!  Three mice in one trap.  Now I can finish you all 
off at once!

[Urd whips out a boombox from behind her back, still ignoring Marller.]

Urd:  As you get older, you'll learn how to solve problems with elegant 
solutions.

[Urd press play on the boombox.]

Marller:  Hah!  Your music can't make me dance now....

[.... as Marller taps her feet and snaps her finger.]

Marller:  New Order!?  Now that's a cheap shot, Urd!  You'll pay for this!!

[Marller blasts off, followed by a trail of utensils.]

Skuld:  Big sister.  What does Marller mean by the Pendulum of Misfortune?

Urd:  Yeah, I've heard about the cycles thing too.  (Although I never paid 
attention to it.  Only Belldandy goes to all the classes.)

Belldandy:  Well, it's like this..... HEY!  WHY DIDN'T YOU TWO DO SOMETHING 
WHEN MARLLER WAS HAVING HER WAYS WITH ME!?

Urd, Skuld:  Because I thought you were in no immediate danger.

[Flashback - Skuld listened in her Wall's Ear with a headset, while 
furiously working on the converted hair dryer.  Skuld:  What is Marller 
doing to my sister?]

[Flashback - Urd was in a room full of drunken people, including Keiichi.  
She stuck her head into the living room TV set, saying "Iiiizo, iiiizo 
(that's good, that's good)".  One guy on the floor said, "Hey, how do you do 
that?"]  (So what their kitchen has TV too?)

Belldandy:  [sigh...]  The Universe as we know it is filled with cases of 
dualism.  We have good and evil, love and hate, positive and negative 
matter.

[Urd: What matter?  Skuld: Does it matter?  You think a physicist wrote 
this?]

Belldandy:  As for people, we have the fortunate, and then we have the 
unlucky ones.  The lucky ones don't always have good fortunes, nor do the 
unlucky people never get a break.  Their lives are dictated by the cycles of 
their fortune stars, which determine the swing of the Pendulum of Fate.

[Urd:  Oh my head hurts.  Skuld:  Then don't drink and think!]

Belldandy:  Fortune stars are binary stars, where one gives blessings while 
it's twin administers mishaps.  The number of fortune stars eclipsing it's 
counterpart determines the position of the Pendulum.  Sixty-nine years ago a 
hundred and twenty-eight misfortune stars aligned, and that event triggered 
the birth of Marller.  The next Pendulum swing would align 1,024 misfortune 
stars, making tonight the most perilous one for us in the past 50,000 years.

[Urd:  Why do I have a feeling things will get worse before they get 
better?]

Belldandy:  Fortunately, if Marller is using the occasion to become the heir 
of Darkness, she still lacks one key element.....

[Skuld:  Oh oh, now I have the same feeling too.]

Belldandy:  ..... before the full moon reaches heaven's apex tonight and 
completes the final cycle, Marller must present Darkness a sacrifice.  
Someone who is like her, but opposite.  Someone who epitomizes virtue and 
good fortune.  Someone who will give her the final thrust of power to break 
her power barrier.

Urd:  Hmm.... that means someone will have to be a guy, and a virtuous guy at 
that.

Skuld:  Let me see ... [whips out her pocket holy-calculator] .... the last 
time within 200 years when 128 positive aligns occured was May 26, 1972.  
Hmm......

Urd:  Ha!!  In this town?!  There is no way Marller can find someone this 
qualified before mid-night.

Urd, Skuld:  Ah Ha ha ha ha ha ........ eeh?

Belldandy:  TAI HEN!!  (Oh no!!)

End Part A

(P.S.  Just for the record, 5/26/92 was not a Sunday.)


-----



[Meanwhile, back in the party room.]

Keiichi:  No more... I can't drink anymore.

Sayoko:  Oh comon.  One more can't hurt.  Look, I'll drink with you.  
Cheers!

Sayoko - Heh heh, with the sisters gone and everyone else out cold, this 
could be my perfect chance.

[Sayoko pulls her blouse below her shoulder.]

Sayoko:  Keiichi, do you think I'm attractive?

[Everyone on the floor:  S U R E !]

Sayoko:  Hmm.... this is not a good place.

[Sayoko drags Keiichi out of the room.]

Sayoko:  Get out... beat it... let go of his legs.....  out of my way!!

[Silence falls upon the room.]

[The sisters crash into the party room.]

Belldandy:  Is Keiichi-san here?!

[Urd overturns a few faces on the floor.]

Urd:  Nope.

[Belldandy is ready to burst into tears.]

Belldandy:  Has anyone seen Keiichi-san?!

Tamiya:  ... the witch (furigana - Sayoko) took Morisato that way.  [Points 
to the door.]

[Belldandy - Oh spirits of the earth and the air, lend me your power and be 
the wind beneath my wings.]

[Belldandy flys straight off to the pointed direction.]

Skuld:  I'll go build the Super Duper Keiichi Detector right now.

Urd:  Then I'll channel hop and see what I can find.

[Urd flys into the TV set, and Skuld splashes into a half full beer mug.]

[Silence falls upon the room once more.]

[Next panel, same scene.  The gang on the floor gives a unison "N e a t  T r 
i c k".]

[Sayoko closes sliding door behind her.  Keiichi is out of view.]

Sayoko:  (looking seductively)  No one will bother us here.  Let's drink 
some more.

Sayoko:  (holding half full glass)  My mother... told me... never drink.... 
with another man.... alone

Sayoko:  (sits down, eyes half closed.  we now see back of Keiichi's head)  
Because all he'll think about.... is popping my cherry.  Isn't that.... 
right?!

[View of Keiichi now.  Tied and mouth gagged.  His big, wide, moist eyes has 
the look that begs for life.]

Sayoko:  (picks up Keiichi by the shirt, smirking triumphantly)  I bet you're
burning to ravage my virgin, defenseless body right now......

[Some times later, in the yard, Skuld is seen banging on a hacked up 
Gameboy.]

Skuld:  This can't be right!!  The reading still comes from Keiichi's 
bedroom.  I must adjust the parameters so my SDKD won't pick up his 
belongings!

Urd [within the Gameboy display]:  Have you checked in his room?

Skuld:  ...... no, that's stupid.

[Both of them turn facing the readers, looking suspecious.]

[Urd and Skuld run towards Keiichi's bedroom.  An exhausted looking 
Belldandy stands hesitantly outside.]

Belldandy:  I can sense Keiichi's distress inside, but I have a ominous 
feeling about entering.

Urd:  No point wishie-washing!!  We're saving him from that.....

[View from within, Urd bangs down the bedroom door, shouting "WENCH!!", 
followed by an anxious Bell and a curious Skuld.]

[Naked Sayoko is seen 'squatting' on top of half naked Keiichi, while her 
hands are on her breast and between her legs, and her head turned back with 
the look of surprise.    Keiichi, still in bondage, is also bulging his 
eyes, more from pain than shock.  (Imagine some blood there too.)]

[Full page.  The surprised goddesses can't keep their mouths closed.  Urd 
tries to cover Belldandy and Skuld's eyes.  Belldandy tries to cover Skuld's 
eyes and her mouth.  Skuld tries to cover Belldandy's and her own eyes.]

[Next page, panting Keiichi is being comforted by Belldandy.  At one corner 
Urd is roughing Sayoko up.  Urd:  You evil, selfish little slut!!  Sayoko:  
It's your fault that I had chitsukeilen (the spasm)!!  Skuld:  Urd you 
shouldn't pull so hard.]

(note: CHITSUKEILEN roughly translates to vaginal spasm, but I'm sure 
there's a proper medical term for that in English.  If caught in a courtship 
situation, it can be rather uncomfortable, if not embarrassing.  Fortunately 
it occurs more often in manga than in real life.)

Belldandy:  Keiichi-san.  It's not like you to take advantage of drunken 
girls.

Keiichi:  ME?!  Took advantage?!  She stole my virginity!!

[Sayoko:  I almost got him off!   Urd:  You almost got HIS off!   Skuld:  
Sounded like champaign.]

Belldandy:  Anyway, thank goodness you're allright.  Worse things could have 
happened.

Keiichi [smiling a bit]:  Don't worry.  My day can't get any worse than 
this.

Voice:  That's right, Morisato Keiichi!  Your day will only get better.

[In a flash, the goddesses are blasted away from Keiichi, as he gets sucked 
into a ball of darkness.  Keiichi:  Not again!!!]

Urd:   Lightening Summon!!

Skuld:  Take gernade!!

[Only a few sparks fly and the grenades fall dud.  Urd's eyes and mouth wide 
open in disbelief, whereas Skuld falls to her knees in tears.  Skuld:  My 
babies...]

Marller:  You are already no match for my strength, but I'll let you say 
your prayers til midnight, when I'll crush you like ants.  AHAAHAHA!!

[Marller's jump into the black hole as well.]

[Belldandy awakes seeing Urd, surrounded by jars and bottles, and Skuld, 
putting the finishing touch on a medicine-ball size grenade, already engaged 
in a heated debate.  It's already night time.]

Skuld:  I can tell an stupid solution from a elegant one!!  Turning Marller 
into a sex fiend is stupid!!  (Besides, she only likes women.)

Urd:  And what's this!?  Are you going to drill a hole straight down to 
America!?  (Remember she has a hostage?)

Skuld:  At least I'm playing safe!!  Handle it your way and we can expect 
apocalypse now!

Urd:  Tsk, tsk.  Immaturity is shown in tactless actions.  I say we can draw 
first blood by sneaking in like deer hunters.

Skuld:  Then why don't we take the whole platoon and charge in like Rambo?!

Urd, Skuld:  Ahahahaha [Urd - so you like those movies too?  Skuld - yeah, I 
love explosives!] ......

Urd, Skuld:  .... ahem

[Laughters cut short by Bell's famous cold goddess stare.]

Belldandy:  Oh dear, it's almost time!  Where is Marller?!  Where is 
Keiichi-san!?

[Belldandy - and by the way, where is Sayoko-san?]

Skuld:  They never left.  I think they're across the yard, in the altar 
room.  (And I put Sayoko in her bed.)

[background - Sayoko wakes up on her bed.  Sayoko:  What strange dream.  tee 
hee]

Urd:  That arrogant bitch thinks she's so strong there's no reason for her 
to hide.  

[background - SD Urd gets thrown out of the altar.  Voice from within - 
Don't come back if you can't do better!  HAHAHA]

Belldandy:  Marller's strength now exceeds any conventional exorcism 
techniques.  We must save Keiichi-san, if not the World.  There is no other 
way!

Skuld:  There is another way? ..... You can't be serious!!  There's no way 
I'm going through with that!  I was only going to blow up the city.......

Urd:  ...?!  IT'S THE ONLY WAY!!  Now why didn't I think of that?

[Skuld stands up, ready to jump into the nearest tea cup.]

Skuld:  I think there's still time so I'll just go back and say hi to God 
and maybe he'll help us out this time so see you later bit sisters ......

Urd:  You're out voted.

Belldandy, Urd: (spell)  Three Goddesses Combine!!

Skuld:  Wuuaaahhh!!

[When dust settles, a lone, shadowy figure remains in the background.]

figure:  That was fast.

[Mean while, in shrine room, Marller is pacing around.  Unconscience Keiichi 
is bolted down spread on the floor.]

Marller:  What are those ditzs up to now?  Any longer and they'll miss the 
show (subtitle - the offering) !

Marller:  Damn!!  Guess I'll have to go ahead without them.  Hmm....  come 
to think of it, what am I suppose to do with this lamb?

[Marller rolls a scroll which, on the back, is labeled "Dian(blocked by 
panel).]

Marller:  (looks up at the audience, sweating) ...... you can't be serious?

[Marller bends down to Keeichi, whose eyes wide opened by her action, and 
cups his cheek.  She has this sweet, innocent smile on her face (not seen 
since she regained her memory).]

Marller:  You know, this will hurt me more than it'll hurt you.

[We see the back of the mystery figure, facing the shrine room.  Voice 
coming from room - Whut...!!  What are you doing!!?]

figure - Attack now!

figure - In manga the good guys always let the bad guys reach full power 
before they attack...

figure -  Marller has him.  I must have caution.

[Close profile of figure.  She has the face of Belldandy, the eyes of Urd, 
and the hair of Skuld.  She has the infinite sign (sideway figure 8) on her 
forehead.   Voice - Hey!  Belldandy made that ..... Ouch!!]

figure - God is not going to be happy when he hears about this.

figure - Sounds like fun in there.

[Full profile of Urdar.  Fancy apparel aside, she's holding a staff topped 
by an hour glass.  Voice - Stop!!  No!!  Not there....!!]

figure - She's preparing the sacrifice.  We don't have much time.

figure - But I'm Urdar, the Great Goddess of Fate.  There's nothing I can't 
do!

Urdar:  HOW CAN I THINK WHEN I'M ARGUING WITH MYSELF!!?

[Voice - OH NO......  NO!  AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!]

[Urdar bangs down the door.]

Urdar:  I won't forgive anyone who torments Keiichi-san!!

Urdar:  What?!  Oh no!!  You couldn't.....!!

[Marller and Keiichi are in a tangle of flesh.  Keiichi, who has the 
fiendishly content look on his face, forms the support for Marller, who 
'sits' on his lap.  Their hands are ... ahem... everywhere.]

[Close-up of Marller.  Her eyes barely open and her smile seductive.]

Marller:  What women won't do for power?

end pt.b r2


-----


Marller:  MA-DOU-KEN!!

[Marller blasts Urdar and a good portion of the room away.]

Marller:  Damn!  That wasn't enough!  Reload me!!

[Scene cut to Keiichi, wearing Spaceship Yamato's uniform, in the Wave 
Motion Cannon control room where the Driver is being loaded to the Barrel.  
Keiichi - Ai Ay, Captain!]

Marller:  She'll play smarter this time.  Hold me steady and wait for my 
signal.

[Keiichi holds Marller like Stallone holding a M-16, still pumping and with 
the widest grin of his life.   Keiichi - yes, master.]

[A darting shadow speeds across the yard.]

Marller:  Steady.... steady .... NgAAAAAAHHHhh!! (translation - NOW!!)

Keiichi - <groan>!

[Urdar is again engulfed in Marller's blaze.  She again jumps back, 
stumbling a bit this time.]

Marller:  Almost!  Give me one more good shot and we can finish that bitch!!

Marller:  .... disappeared.  Heh heh, but this will force her hand.......

Marller:  AAAaaaaAAHh!  I never knew being with man can be so pleasurable!  
My sweet Keiichi-kun, I'll take you back and have all my servants have a taste 
of your .....

voice -  ENOUGH!!!!  Marller, this is unforgivable!!

[Marller's eyes gleams.]

Marller:  Now we just need a steady aIIIEEE........ WHAT?!!

[A premature burst discharges towards the vacant sky.  Marller turns and 
sees a skeleton, eyes rolled and mouth foaming, beneath her.]

Marller:  SOUROU!!!  (translation - MEN!!.  but more literally "Quick Leak")  
I don't need you anymore!!

[Marller takes off from Keiichi, leaving a liquid 'jet stream' behind.]

[Urdar appears from the room's shadow.  She kneels down and places Keiichi's 
head on her lap, and caresses his face with her hands.]

Urdar:  It's my fault, I failed to protect you.  You cared for me, and yet I 
caused so much misery for you. <snif> I don't.......

[Pan back, Keiichi is awake, face down on Urdar's lap, trying to pry beneath 
her clothings.]

[Keiichi in bondage, apparently with Urdar's long belt.  A spell attaches on 
his forehead.]

Keiichi:  Help... I'm suffering......

voice:  I'll help you after I save the World.

[At high altitude, covered with only a cape, Marller flys around searching 
for her prey.]

voice:  Looking for me?

Marller:  Ah, there you are!  I've heard about the Super Goddess of Fate, 
but I'd never thought the bimbos could actually make one.

[Urdar, with her belt missing, is also revealing some of her dangerous 
curves beneath the garments.]

Urdar:  Marller, do you really want to destroy this world, or are you doing 
this just for revenge?  If it's me, I can let you do as you wish, but please 
spare this land.

Marller:  You.....?!  HAHAHA....  Yes, I want you!  And I want God!  And I 
want Earth!  And in the end I want to turn Yggdrasil into a pile of 
firewood!!  And how can anyone stop me?!

Urdar:  Marller, you've been on Earth as long as I have.  Those humans are 
just as passionate for love, hate, fear, and joy as any one of the deities.  
Destroy something so perfectly imprefect won't do you demons any good.

Marller:  BECAUSE I CAN!!  Look at these suffering fools down there.  They 
can't tell love from lust, or fear from cowardice; they work because they'er 
greedy, and they die because they're tired.  In your words, I'm their 
savior!  AAHAHAHA.

Marller:  (at some supernatural volume)  HEY YOU PATHETIC PEOPLE DOWN THERE!  
IN ONE MINUTE YOUR MISERABLE EXISTENCE WOULD BE OVER!  BE GRATEFUL!!

Urdar:  I won't allow you to disrupt anymore lives.  You have tormented 
enough!!

[Down the streets, by-standers are gathering to witness this unnatural 
event.  One spectator grabs another passing by.  (Insert your favorite 
cameos here)]

Spectator A:  Really!!  I'm not kidding!!

Spectator B:  Let's see..... Ah!  Really!!  No panties!!!!!!!

[Back on the sky, both Marller and Urdar prepare their attacks.]

Marller:  All those years, I can finally settle the scores........

[Back in the temple.]

voice:  Belldandy..... Onii-saaan (big brother) .....  anyone home?

voice:  Ah!  What a mess!!  Senpai's are playing with explosives again.  
<This is a new type thou, it seems.>

voice:  It's onii-san!!  What kind of party joke is this?!  On your birthday 
too!!

[Megumi removes the spell on Keiichi's head (which says 'Do not open til 
Christmas').  He shows her the biggest grin she's ever seen.]

Keiichi:  Megumi-chan.  Would you please take off this rope?  I want to show 
you something.

[moments later]

Megumi:  Ah heh heh ...... oni-san what are you thinking?

[Megumi drags backwards; Keiichi crawls in advance.]

Keiichi:  I'm thinking how long we've known each other and not know each 
other....

Megumi:  Yeah, few BROTHERS really know about their SISTERS.  And I'm glad 
they respect their privacies..... heh heh

[Megumi retreats, and Keiichi advances.]

Keiichi:  I never noticed how similar we are.  We eat the same food, we have 
the same friends, we even wear the same kind of cloths.

Megumi:  heh heh... maybe that's because we have the SAME PARENTS?!

[Megumi retreats, Keiichi advances.]

Keiichi:  Your eyes.... They're the most beautiful pair I've seen.

Megumi:  Well.... if you look in the mirror you'll see another pair just 
like it.....

[etc. etc.]

Keiichi:  Remember in high school, a friend name Hiroshi?  You know why he 
went to Pittsburgh?

Megumi:  Hiroshi?  You mean the one whose sister became an ido... ah!

[Megumi's back is against the wall.]

Keiichi:  The forbidden fruits always taste sweeter.....

[His lips land on hers.]

Urdar:  You can't win, Marller.

Marller:  And I can't lose either!!  Another (looks up) 30 seconds and I 
shall be Lord, and by then not even the Dragon Knight can save you!!

[Urdar - Oh angels of Heaven and spirits of Earth, in name of Urdar, the 
Super Class Unstricted Goddess and guardian of Yggdrasil, I bid thee to obey 
my plea.  Lend me thy strength, and I shall deter this evil presence.]

Marller:  <Hmm.... Looks nasty.> Oh yeah!?  Watch this!!

[Marller - I, the Super Class Demon Marller, Keeper of Niflheim and the Heir 
of Darkness, command my subjects.  Surrender your power to me, and I will 
deliver to Light it's fatal blow!!]

[Marller - SHIN!-MA-DOU-KEN!!      Urdar - TO-TEN-SEI-I  (Dipper Turn Star 
Shift)] {Draw your heart out on this page.  (^_^)}

[Marller's fireball makes an orbit around Urdar's afterglow, whom within 
seems spent from sheer exhaustion, and comes straight back for her.]

Marller:  WHUAAA!!

Marller:  Very clever.  Using my own attack on me.  But this trick won't 
work again!

Marller:  <Points to heaven>  All elements present, and IT IS TIME!  I, the 
True Heiress of Underworld, proclaim by this full Moo.... WHAAAAT !!?

[Marller is pointing at a New Moon.]

[Urdar sneaks behind Marller and grabs her by her waist.]

Urdar:  The moment is lost, Marller.  Remember I'm the Goddess of Time?  You 
couldn't possibly win this way.

[Marller bursts into tears]

Marller:  You always win, and I always lose!!  You're the blessed one!  You 
get the attentions!  Everybody loves you!!  I hate you!  I hate all of you!  
And I hate God....

Urdar:  I understand, my sister.

Marller:  .... eh ?!

Urdar:  Our father regretted for not having you around in the family.  But 
having seen you he felt you'd be happier in Hell.

Marller:  THAT IS ..... true.

Urdar:  His daughters all ..... well, most of them ..... heard from him his 
"Flight With the Valkyrie" seventy years ago.  <blushing a bit>

Urdar:  He remembers.

[Scene cut.  View of bottom half of a throne, a pair of male legs are topped 
by several unclothed female ones.  voice - Hack-chu!  (sneeze)]

[Pan away.  Urdar crosses her arms around Marller's neck in a very touching 
feminine embrace.]

Marller:  ........... sorry.

[Same panel.   voices coming from one the darken buildings below.  voice1 - 
I'm telling you!  There are two half-naked woman hugging each other in mid 
air!!    voice2 - Son, you've studied too hard.  Get a girlfriend tomorrow.]

[We are now looking down at the shrine room floor.  Keiichi's naked upper 
torso on top of Megumi's.  They are enjoying the "Good Vibration" as if you 
couldn't imagine.]

[Upper panel.  Close-up side view of Keiichi.  Sweat dripping and all, yet 
looking very earnest at what he's doing.]

Keiichi:  <Hump>, <heng>, <heeh>, <HNEUG......>

[Lower panel.  Same close-up view of Megumi, who is apparently out of her 
wits.]

Megumi:  I love you I love I <Aaaah> can run away and get marri<EEEEeeng> 
save our parents some money and <IIIIiiiie> have three kids and call them 
Shinzo and Shinji and Shin<Itchaataaaaaa> (translation - ... saaaaa)

{make sure the 'dialogues' are properly aligned between the panels.  ^_^}

[Keiichi gets off her.  Megumi is still babbling.]

Megumi:  ...and when people ask me I can say I'm a housewife and my name is 
Morisato Megumi and I can have all my parents grandchildren ..... zzzzz

Keiichi:  Shit!  I have to live in one place in Tokyo that has no 
cigarettes.  Well, maybe senpais left some.

[Keiichi walks into a dark room, and bumps into a shadow.]

Keiichi:  Ouch!  Hey somebody still here?

[The shadow's hands emit warm glows, revealing vaguely Urdar's outline.  
With wave of her hands, several more glows fan out to illuminate the 
deserted room.]

Urdar:  Keiichi-san, it's not like you to have done that too a girl.....

Keiichi:  Yeah!?  So what about that!?

Urdar:  ... you should have stayed in Megumi when you finished.

[Keiichi gets blown backwards. (ie. gag)]

Keiichi:  SO I FUCKED MY OWN SISTER!!  I've sinned and I liked it.  Give me 
a day .... make that a week.... and I'll do it again!  And who the ......

[Urdar presses her lips on Keiichi's.  Apparently she's a whole foot taller 
than he is.]

Keiichi:  Sorry honey.  I'm too tired tonight.  Maybe some other time......

Urdar:  Marller's Seed of Evil has taken root in you.  I can't extract it 
from your mouth anymore, so I'll have to go from the route Marller took.

[Urdar bends down.]

Keiichi:  Hey hey, what are you doing?

[Narration - Despite Keiichi's earlier 'extracurricular activities', the 
tongue of a Super Class Goddess is nonetheless blowing his mind away.]

[Urdar lies Keiichi on his back, whose eyes (and something else) stare 
straight into the ceiling.  She then positions herself on top, resting her 
hands on Keiichi's chest, and look into his eyes.]

Urdar:  Keiichi-san.  I have waited for this moment for a long time.  I, all 
of me, love you.

[View of cityscape, and a big 'NGYAAaaaaah' is heard throughout.]

[Aoshima, who is in the middle of an n-way session, raises his head from 
some snatch.]

Aoshima:  Now that's the biggest cherry pop I've ever heard.

[A blurry vision begin to focus.  Keiichi sees Urdar on top of him, still 
staring down.]

Keiichi:  Who are .....  Bellu-chan?  Urd?!  Skuld?!  Am I dreaming?

Urdar:  Yes, yes, yes, and no comment.  I'm glad you're feeling better.

Keiichi:  If I'm dreaming this, why is my @^%! feeling so awfully good right 
now?  I'm afraid if I wake up my bed would be wet.

Urdar:  It's not often a goddess consummates with a human.  The privilege is 
mine.

Keiichi:  I think I have endulged enough of your service.  Shouldn't we.....

Urdar:  Oh no, I sense more trances of poison.  I must continue till they're 
all gone.

Keiichi:  .... (gulp) really?

Urdar:  Now now, a Super Class Unrestricted Goddess can't lie.

[Urdar rests her head on Keiichi's shoulder.  Turned to the audience and away 
from Keiichi, she makes a face only Urd could.]

Keiichi:  OOOOoooooohh.......

[Narration - From the Norse legends, or so was written, a Goddess's womb can 
be a billion times more devistating than her mouth.]

[Scene white out.]

[Keiichi wakes up, and sits up slowly, holding his neck.]

Keiichi:  Oh god I'm sore all over.

[Then he (we) notices Belldandy, in her normal costume, kneeling besides the 
bed.]

Belldandy:  Good morning and happy birthday, Keiichi-san.

Keiichi:  Oh, that's right, Tuesday is my Birthday.  I can't believe the 
senpais made me join the demolition derby on my last teen day.......

Belldandy:  Did you have terrible dreams last night?

Keiichi:  Oh yeah, it was terrible!  I...... I?  I don't remember.  I think 
I did some terrible things, but what?!

[Top panel.  Eyes only.  They're focused to each other.]

Belldandy:  Keiichi-san

[Middle panel.  Mouths only.  They're approaching.]

Belldandy:  ..... thank you.

Keiichi:  eh?

[Bottom panel.  From necks to floor.  Apparently they're engaging in a kiss.  
Out of Keiichi's view and behind Belldandy's back, she holds a box of 
Kleenex (tissue).]

Keiichi: .......... ?

  the end!!!!!!!




-----

It is customary for creators of dojinshis to add some of his personal BS in 
the contents (which people who paid good money not wanting to read, but this 
is free, so HA!).  The reasons for that are manyfold, but mainly it gives a 
forum for the author to communicate his innermost feelings otherwise left 
out in the manga interpretation.  NO, seriously, it's for me to BS and boost 
my egos.  I received some encouraging emails after posting pt.a, and some 
suggestions (ie. not so encouraging emails) for pt.b.  Hopefully I've kept 
what is 'essential'.  The originally short parody turned into a 20 pg. 
beast, and Iain S. (ie. Ax on #anime!) is the only one on this planet crazy 
enough to WANT to draw this thing.  Which shows how reading too much manga 
can impair common sense........ :-P  A common complaint I got for pt.b was 
"Where's the beef?"  Hope you all enjoyed the Wendy's Burger that followed.  
Ax, if you are reading this, give me feedback.  I wrote more than I should 
so some could be hacked, and you have my permission to hack in any desirable 
way you like.  I used New Order as BGM, and put Bizarre Love Triangle on 
auto-repeat on my CD player.  By time I finished this I must have heard that 
song some 200 times.  Still don't know what it means, but that's what 
Marller was supposedly dancing to.  



And finally, this fucker is done.  Now the monkey is off my back and on 
somebody else's.  AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA.  (God I love Marller.)


d.n.a.b.    Blame it on AIMAP
1/25/93

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