============================================================================== Clogged Sink Press Presents: A Ranma 1/2 Fanfiction: The Chaos Machine By Plunger All characters copyright of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan Inc. and Viz Communications, etc., etc., blah, blah, blah... ______________________________________________________________________________ [Story begins...] Gonsunkugi Hikaru sat in his bedroom brooding. Ever since the cursed Saotome Ranma had arrived in Nerima, his chances of ever attaining the attentions of the beauteous Tendou Akane were almost nonexistant. Whenever he thought he finally had a chance to do something, Ranma would show up and sort it all out in his usual stupid macho martial arts way. It wasn't fair! How could someone as attractive and intelligent as she was, like someone who was as intelligent and charismatic as your average sea slug?! And with the eating habits to match, no less! After a few minutes of just quietly stewing to himself, Gosunkugi sat up suddenly as an idea struck him. If he could create some means of getting Ranma out of the way for a while, he knew that he could steal Akane away from him... Now... All he needed was a diversion... He pulled out large sheet of paper and began to draw. At first it appeared to be a simple box shape, but as he went along it, became more and more complex and more and more confusing. By the time he was finished, the sheets of paper covered one entire wall of his room, which was lucky, as he had not drawn it to scale. He stood back to take in the sight of his masterpeice. His greatest invention was finally on the drawing board. Now all he needed to do was build it... Gosunkugi went out and began to search for the parts he needed. Crawling through rubbish bins and in and out of scrap yards and behind factories, he was able to scrounge the pieces he needed. Hours later, he arrived home, tattered and exhausted, but elated. He had everything he needed... Gosunkugi set to work, following his own confusing instructions and assem- bling the twisted and malformed device. Finally, when all was done, he pulled out a large, battered, aged looking book. He flipped through the pages and finally opened it to "Magical Investments". After carefully reading all the instructions, he made a small prayer to Kamisama that if magic could work just once in his life, let this be the time. He strapped the two lit candles to his head and placed more candles about the room in preparation. When the everything was ready, and the wax was dripping into his ears, he raised his hands and began to chant the spell... As the hours past, the candles burnt down and Gosunkugi felt himself becoming increasingly exhausted, but he ingored the pain and carried on with the spell. Finally, just before dawn, Gonsunkugi collapsed flat out the floor, unconcious. When he woke up, it was time for school. He looked around the messed up room and spied the machine. It was done... Or at lest he thought it was. There was only one way to find out... He reached out nervously and flicked the switch. There was a high pitched whine for a moment that eventually settled into a low hum. Gosunkugi frowned for a moment as nothing happened. He reached over and turned a control knob. The effect was instant, as pictures fell off his walls, his TV exploded and the CD player lauched a disc viscously across the room at him. He immediately switched the machine off and began to laugh. It worked! It REALLY worked! Ranma was doomed! Doomed! Gosunkugi gloated to himself as he gathered his school books and picked up the machine. He ran eagerly out of the house and dashed off to school, much to his mother's surp- rise... That day, Gosunkugi Hikaru took his machine to Furinkan High and, in the midst of the martial arts battles, alien invasions, shady business deals and other sundry forms of mayhem and confusion, he activated the most successful melding of magic and technology the world had ever seen. It worked perfectly... And no-one noticed... ______________________________________________________________________________ - Fin - plunger@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au